I didn't want you to have to hear this.
I wanted to prevent this from taking place.
But if you hear me, it probably means I'm nervous
and I want you to come inflate my face.
My mouth and nose and ears and things are vessels
for the stars to spread throughout my brain.
That's why the neighbors tied me to the tressel--
so the stars would get hit by a train.
[chorus:] The I.C.U. is a dangerous place!
I didn't like the food, so they shot me in the face.
They gave me walrus tusks and made me smoke crack
and hit me with a hammer in the center of my back [OW! OW! OW! OW!].
They cut off all my elbows and they made me wear plaid.
I said I didn't like them, and they said it made them sad.
They took me to a room and pretended I was dead
and tried to drive a brick through the center of my head [OW! OW! OW! OW!]!
So when I come to pick you up for dinner,
just keep in mind I don't exist in any way.
It's partially because I've gotten so much thinner,
as often happens to a tree when it's afraid.
I don't know what I would've done without you;
you're always there when I need someone to flay.
There's nothing I have ever heard about you,
but since you don't exist, that's probably okay.
[repeat chorus.]
credits
from Barely-In-Tune Pop Gems,
released November 5, 2011
Mike Miller: guitar
Randy Knight: lead guitar
Kristana Burt: bass
Callan Sullivan: drums, vocals
written by Miller/Sullivan/Knight;
words by Sullivan.